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  • cookofdhowz

Illusion

Thank you Mr Rockwell

For all the lies you told

For opening my eyes to a life

so very

Different from my own.


For making me believe a lie

For causing me to always try

And be the mother in the frame

The one to whom her family came.


The family round the table

Now gathering to pray

The turkey, or some other cut

Laid out

All festive,

Gay


No sons and daughters orbiting

Around the mothers home

No happy songs or stories shared

Of days now barely known


The media lies

The joyful cries

The tinsel and the string

The endless temptings, lusting

And careful conjuring


Emotions roused and feelings stirred

Like spells inside a pot

Poured out upon a tender child

And forms its twisted plot


I want it all

I cannot wait,

I cannot sleep,

Although it's late

I hope he brings all my desire

I'll hang my stocking by the fire


Those things I've nagged about

all year,

fell fully flat on deafened ear,

I hadn't asked for half those gifts

Not this, oh yes, not that


The red and white old aged elf

That comes in like a thief at night

And caused me nightmares

Fear and grief


Then down the years

I came to see my parents

How they'd lied to me

And how in their own ignorance

A liar made of me


I had to smile and say

Oh wow!

Oh yes i love that thing


I Oohed and aahed

And made a fuss

When deep inside

It was all loss


Morning joy

Then gluttony


Drunkenness

And misery


Adults lose sobriety

And children watch on

Fearfully


Peace on earth

Goodwill to men

Not mentioned once,

And yet again

We head on into a new year,

With debts, regrets and broken

Dreams.




This time of the year I struggle as so many do, December is the time the world goes crazy with shopping and overeating, commercials on television that are meant to stir the emotions and make us feel the need to give give give. I don't think I ever really understood the fuss. Even as a child I thought 'where is all this peace on earth and goodwill towards men and why is it only once a year?' Since becoming an adult I see the sickening emptiness of it.

I am glad when its over. I think its one of the worst holidays of the year, for many reasons. Apart from the obvious reasons the expense , the waste , the gluttony, the temptation to create indebtedness for another year . My heart goes out to families who are already in mortgage or rental stress. Then there's the loneliness,. many feel it keenly, that loved ones are not around, that they have no where to go to alleviate the emptiness which of course is always with them but is very difficult in December. Its been said that many terminally ill people hold out for their loved ones so as not to upset their Christmas. I don't know what part of the world you are in, but here in Australia we have one of the highest youth suicides in the world. Christmas is one of those times when it is a real risk.


  • I fell in love with the art of Norman Rockwell as a teen when I babysat for an American family who were posted to Australia. They had this book on their shelf and every time i sat for them i would gaze at the pages and I wanted my home and family to be like this. It never was and much as I tried in my own home to replicate this for my children, truth be told its all an illusion.

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