Thank you Mr Rockwell
For all the lies you told
For opening my eyes to a life
so very
Different from my own.
For making me believe a lie
For causing me to always try
And be the mother in the frame
The one to whom her family came.
The family round the table
Now gathering to pray
The turkey, or some other cut
Laid out
All festive,
Gay
No sons and daughters orbiting
Around the mothers home
No happy songs or stories shared
Of days now barely known
The media lies
The joyful cries
The tinsel and the string
The endless temptings, lusting
And careful conjuring
Emotions roused and feelings stirred
Like spells inside a pot
Poured out upon a tender child
And forms its twisted plot
I want it all
I cannot wait,
I cannot sleep,
Although it's late
I hope he brings all my desire
I'll hang my stocking by the fire
Those things I've nagged about
all year,
fell fully flat on deafened ear,
I hadn't asked for half those gifts
Not this, oh yes, not that
The red and white old aged elf
That comes in like a thief at night
And caused me nightmares
Fear and grief
Then down the years
I came to see my parents
How they'd lied to me
And how in their own ignorance
A liar made of me
I had to smile and say
Oh wow!
Oh yes i love that thing
I Oohed and aahed
And made a fuss
When deep inside
It was all loss
Morning joy
Then gluttony
Drunkenness
And misery
Adults lose sobriety
And children watch on
Fearfully
Peace on earth
Goodwill to men
Not mentioned once,
And yet again
We head on into a new year,
With debts, regrets and broken
Dreams.
This time of the year I struggle as so many do, December is the time the world goes crazy with shopping and overeating, commercials on television that are meant to stir the emotions and make us feel the need to give give give. I don't think I ever really understood the fuss. Even as a child I thought 'where is all this peace on earth and goodwill towards men and why is it only once a year?' Since becoming an adult I see the sickening emptiness of it.
I am glad when its over. I think its one of the worst holidays of the year, for many reasons. Apart from the obvious reasons the expense , the waste , the gluttony, the temptation to create indebtedness for another year . My heart goes out to families who are already in mortgage or rental stress. Then there's the loneliness,. many feel it keenly, that loved ones are not around, that they have no where to go to alleviate the emptiness which of course is always with them but is very difficult in December. Its been said that many terminally ill people hold out for their loved ones so as not to upset their Christmas. I don't know what part of the world you are in, but here in Australia we have one of the highest youth suicides in the world. Christmas is one of those times when it is a real risk.
I fell in love with the art of Norman Rockwell as a teen when I babysat for an American family who were posted to Australia. They had this book on their shelf and every time i sat for them i would gaze at the pages and I wanted my home and family to be like this. It never was and much as I tried in my own home to replicate this for my children, truth be told its all an illusion.